My brief moment of Transphobia
Howdy Y’all. So i had quite a peculiar dumb moment the other day. I’ve been simmering on this little experience that I had, trying to derive as much as I can from it. So without further adieu, I present to you my ever so brief moment of Transphobia. (Yeah, I’ve felt bad about this for a couple of days.)
The job that I’m currently working at requires us to undress and redress in uniform in their onsite locker room. Aside from it being a little odd to see your coworkers in their skivvies, I had no problem stripping down and dressing up again. FORTUNATELY this job is not the last one, I may or may not have gotten a boner from looking at HotGuyAtWork in his undies. Focus Bobby… FOCUS. So yeah, it’s a little bit odd, but middle and high school prepares your very well to locker room etiquette. So I was fine.
One of my coworkers whom I had seen in passing is a transgendered male, (female to male) or so I thought. I had seen him in passing. He had a very androgynous* name like Ashley or Courtney. I wasn’t sure for sure which gender he was as his appearance was neither here nor there, but I made the assumption rather incorrectly of me, that he was indeed transgendered. (The name didn’t help me, but it was not an assumption for me to make.)
So I accepted him (in my mind) and do the usual (way to go, dude) pep talk to myself (in my head.) It’s the weirdest thing, when one of my friends from way back when told me that she was lesbian, my reaction was “cool.” It’s weird, but it’s like accepting it in my head. “You’re LGBT, that cool, way to go.”
Things were all good, then one morning as I entered the locker room on my way out of work, I ran into him and a couple of other guys. My initial reaction (internally was) “What is he doing here?” I felt uncomfortable. Then i realized that I don’t know why I had a temporary flash freak out. Almost immediately as that thought occurred, I realized that I truly didn’t care and that I completely overreacted.
And I thought that I was so versed and immersed in the LGBT community, enough to not be uncomfortable in situations that are just slightly different. I embarrassed myself, to myself. It all was seamless, fortunately, the freak out was just in my head. If he presents himself as male and he wants to use the male facilities, who am I to say the contrary. Who am I to get uncomfortable, for no damn reason. It wasn’t a big deal, but I learned a little bit more about myself. Oh and it turns out that the coworker whom I judged, is actually cisgendered male. So not one of my proudest moments, but I learned.
Kinda dragged this post out a bit, so I’ll talk about all the other stuff i’ve been learning lately, in a future post. Things are going good here, hope you guys are having a good summer. :) catch y’all later!
(*Don’t know if i’m using the word correctly)