The last post was broken down into two parts, this being the second one. We already talked about my new “vision” of where I plan on going. I’m writing this immediately after the last post, so my mindset is still fresh. I’m fresh mutha fuckas!
Ok, I had to get that out. So… I’m lifehacking my brain into finding some sort of motivation to better myself. I tried the whole “Oh do it for yourself cause you’re worth it” thing- didn’t work for me. It’s not how I think, how the swirls in my head… swirl. I’ve always been a dreamer and maybe if I can continue to dream while protecting myself, I may come to a place where life has that cohesion that I so desire.
In this second post I wanted to talk about a dream that I had. OH GOD, He’s talking about a dream. (I don’t blame you if you skip the rest of this post. Trust me, I have the same reaction sometimes.) (Ironically I really enjoy talking about them myself, I analyze them. haha… anal…. lyze.)
I won’t get into specifics or into a lot of detail, because most of this dream doesn’t make sense. It played out a night or so after posting up that picture that we already talked about. Somehow I think it all goes together. I dreamt that I was a Jason Stathem type character, kind of like that guy from ‘The Transporter’. For some reason I was important, wearing a suit and basically… I was Jason Stathem… but I was still me, so. (You know how it can be.) I had some important task to do and it involved climbing a rope. I took my muscles and climbed that rope. I climbed that rope so hard. It was like nothing.
I could physically see and feel myself achieving that feat and I was capable. For some reason or another, I had to do it again. And again. I was beginning to get fatigued but I knew that this is something that I had done and was capable of doing. I got stuck in a vent just before waking up, ass out. The queen of England was in my dreams, but that I believe to be irrelevant.
When i did awake, I felt this new found sense of confidence. My body had made me feel like “a man” if just in my dreams. My head felt balanced. False confidence or inspired confidence, it doesn’t matter to me. It had all come together, my new vision for the future, my self telling… myself that I had done something before, that I was capable of feeling “like a man.” I can be Jason Stathem. Well… haha.
A dream is just a dream, but if new scientific theory [Video] is close to being right… maybe it’s my body’s way of doing a diagnostic test, or practicing future problems. Maybe it’s a kick in the pants I needed or a loving way for my brain to say, “Yes, you can!”
and I can… and I will. AND maybe I will revisit a grammar lesson or two, this is ridiculous! ;)