The Wife and I are a young couple, still. At times, she feels old. Most of the time. Most of the time I feel like a young buck, competing in a world full of mighty stag, with BIG ornate horns and muscles that exude endless masculinity. We’re still a young couple at 26 and 27. I refuse to believe we’ll ever be old.
There are a few stray gray hairs in my luscious black mane, which started when i was twenty. At the rate it’s going, i’ll be salt and peppery around 32. That look is quite attractive, so *crossing my fingers* that my hair color will change AND NOT my hairline. I’ll never be old.
This winter has been wonderful so far. Tonight we are supposed to get a sprinkling of snow, it’ll be nice to see, lets hope it just stays a dusting.
I’m experimenting, or I have been as of lately. I find myself at the craft store, looking for new mediums, reading books about print and getting my hands dirty. It’s exhilarating and so far it’s feeding my need to do something with my free time.
Once upon a time, I spent quite an awful lot of time suffering. Most of my twenties, pretty much. More than suffering, I moaned and groaned because I was stuck in between a rock and a hard place. The amount of ambivalence that consumed my life and well, this blog was astronomical. Should I stay or should I go? Am I gay or am I bi? Will life always feel this way?
Behavioral scientists at the University of Immaking-Thisup in Washington have found that when presented with heterosexual and homosexual disbelief of bisexuality, bisexuals exhibit similar reactions. A recent publication by The University of Pittsburgh School of the Health Sciences found that heterosexual men “are three times more likely to categorize bisexuality as “not a legitimate sexual orientation,”” The publication was picked up by several news outlets and disseminated online. In a matter of days, blog articles with titles like “Some People Don’t Buy Bisexuality as a legit Orientation” and “15 percent of people don’t think bisexuality is real sexual orientation: Study” could be seen in news feed readers and twitter timelines. It is at this exact moment that Scientists at the University of Immaking-Thisup conducted a study of their own, to gauge the reaction of bisexuals.
Gathering a collection of participants, all of whom swung both ways, the scientists showed them a collection of screenshots depicting the articles of the previously published study. Nearly all participants, up to 85% of all these sexually fluid individuals surprisingly reacted in the same manner. Upon review of the images, researchers found that the participants exhibited rapid eye movement in an upward direction. Behavior Scientist and student Madeher Uptoo notes, “It seems like, an automatic response, to initiate an “eye roll”. We’ve never seen one like that before! It’s like, true annoyance to these equal opportunity lovers.” The study also found that the more a participant was involved in bisexual activism, the more fierce the eye roll. There was a small percentage of participants that had no reaction, possibly due to bi-denial burnout.
"We found that the amount of frustration and anger exhibited varied throughout all the wonderful bi people that reacted to the images. Either they got turned off, really pissed or they shrugged their shoulders. The eye-roll tho, that was stunning to see each of them do that!"
It feels like a truth realized, and now something burns inside with fury and life. It’s something that i’m admitting to myself, now and finally. I’ve met the thing that will devour my life, what’s going to fill my life with passion. I’ve developed a love affair with print.
Often times in the moments before I fall asleep, the same thoughts and questions run through my mind. Will I ever express “it”? Will it ever come out?
Of course I’m in denial about it all. Recently I’ve been thinking that perhaps, I just don’t have the talent, drive or follow thru to complete anything. Since I was a kid, I’ve had this vision, dream, desire, fantasy to complete something. To offer the world or at least one other person, a finished product. To offer a lacquered, high gloss, quality printed, framed, shined and glossed finished product.